Women, agree with me, we’ve had enough sports.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my Bonnies, Buffalo Bills and whatever game of the week is on.
But night after night, game after game, don’t these men ever get tired of watching men?
I don’t even know how their minds hold all that information about 60 players from the NFL, 37 college basketball players, 45 NBA players, 16 hockey players, and the list goes on.
Women cook, create, exercise, read and let the mind wander to make them happy.
But for men, once the game plays on television, nothing else in the world matters.
Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend loves sports and his boyfriends more and would rather watch Erin Andrews than spend time with me.
Take the money you throw away on the NFL Sunday Ticket, endless brackets and losing bets, and take me out to dinner dammit!
With the conclusion of March Madness I don’t think I ever want to watch another basketball game again and I’d rather have a conversation with my boyfriend without his eyes glued to the latest sports news. In my estimation, the average male spends over 15 hours a week watching sports programming. Yes, that’s including the endless loops of Sports Center. So why do sports make men so damn happy?
Consider boobs, beers and testosterone.
1. Boobs
During the NFL season, beautiful bombshells prance along the sidelines. Cut to commercial break and an up-close breast shot fills the television and men pant for more. Once basketball season arrives, younger women in short skirts spread their legs and bear their stomachs. And baseball, well hit the ballpark and you’ll find some cleavage-bearing, butt cheek showing 20-something professing her love to be the next “Mrs. Jeter.”
2. Beers
What better excuse to tailgate and get drunk at 1 p.m. on a Sunday than watching football? Oh, that Monday night game of the week, Thursday night game, Saturday college football game too… hitting the bar to watch the baseball team, oh right the viewing party for the championship….
3. Testosterone
Because who else will take the harassment and bullying these men give these players on television that CAN’T HEAR THEM. Please, take your panties out of a bunch. I promise your friends will still think you’re manly if you don’t call every player a derogatory term. Besides, watching up to 20 hours of television a week lowers sperm count.
I don’t understand why men get so attached to sports when the team always ends up breaking their heart.
I can give him everything sports do and make him even happier. Once one season ends another begins, but me, I’m stable for the most part.
The Happy Project 